|
[24 Feb 2006|05:36pm] |
the world has turned
and left me here
|
|
| new tat |
[18 Feb 2006|01:56pm] |
I got a new tattoo
a sparrow carrying a banner with my beautiful sons name in it
it's my favorite tattoo so far
paradice lost tattoo in kutztown pa is awesome
|
|
| HA |
[15 Feb 2006|10:46am] |
nobody thought that i could leave him
i didn't think i could leave him
BUT I DID
I WILL NOT BE CHEATED ON
personally, I don not think i'm ugly enough to be cheated on (and honestly, that attitude is prolly what got me it)
SO CONCIETED
but hey, I'm not even fat anymore
|
|
| not in order at all...makes sense to me |
[13 Feb 2006|10:31am] |
If i had known that in Febuary 2005 I would have been pried away from the love love of my life
sobbing
him in iraq for seven months
promising I would always love him
If I had known that in late August 2005 he would come back and our love would not be the same,
it would never be the same
If I would have know in june 2005 I would give birth to a beautiful miracle
If I would have known January 2006 my marriage had really taken it's last hit
If I would have known febuary 2006 that my marriage was a lie all along
but she was there for you, don't worry
If I had known that in 2004 I would lose a life that was growing inside of me
If I had known 2004 that new life would give me hope
If I would have known that in 2003 I would meet you and that you would make me come together and then slowly tear me apart...
and when we married in 2004 it would not be forever...
If I would have known then in 2002 when I crossed the border of california on my way out to pennslvaniya that the boyfriend back home would soon not matter
and everything that mattered would cease to exist
and my best friend would cease to exist
and my life as I had known it would cease to exist
maybe its best
i never did
|
|
| NEED ADVICE |
[28 Jan 2006|09:44am] |
SO
dan calls me 10 million times last night
he looooves me and miiiissses me soooooo much
and then he decides to go hang out with his friend....
while i'm solo parenting and not having the easiest time
and when i call him on it
i get the
"don't fuckin' start with me"
SOMEBODY TRANSLATE!
am I in the wrong?
|
|
| my fucking god |
[27 Jan 2006|09:14pm] |
Well, I got my ass kicked out of my in laws house
here is how shit went down
I brought a nameless friend home from work
no harm, Dan wanted him to come over...
They got tanked, talked about punk rock while I watched True life I have gay parents.
then....
Dan wanted to go to sleep, I still had to drive my friend back to his car across town
dan slurs "are you going to stay out a little later?"
I said, "Maybe, but probably not, I'll just wait with him until he sobers up"
I kiss Dan.
Friend and I leave
about an hour later I get a scary call from dan,
"where the fuck are you, get your ass home now"
(we were sitting in the parking lot, talking) (yes JUST talking)
i speed home AND YES I'M FUCKING PISSED
dan was in bed
I SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT AT THAT
HOWEVER
I made him come into the bathroom with me to talk.........read.........yell at him for talking to me like he did.
he goes fucking ape shit, screaming, spit flying out of his mouth, slamming doors (everyone in the god damned house denies this)
I told him that if he doesn't cut this shit out i'm gunna call the police
it barely stopped him
instead he woke up his mom and told HER
i had to leave so i called a umber an officer had given me when things had gotten out of hand before
all i wanted to do was see if they had a place for woman and children that wouldn't be a roach coach
i told them not to come to the house
that i didn't need them there
they CAME!
Dan's dad is screaming that I'm a shitty wife, dan's mom is screaming
the cops were dicks
dans dad tried to used the fuckin' military card with the fuzz
"he JUST got back from Iraq"
it works
i'm the new bad guy
i stayed in a wonderful bloody mattress motel
with the fucking threat of
"she will never step foot in this house again!" -dan's dad
jesus! we LIVE THERE WITH THEM!
it was funny though... because, dan's mom WHINED! HA! "why does she get to take the baby?"
(i almost killed her)
cop-"it's her baby ma'am
bitch in law-"it's his baby too"
cop-"SHE IS taking the baby ma'am"
damn right i am. And always will.
|
|
|
[26 Jan 2006|11:27am] |
ahhh
Dans on this trip that i am lying to him and cheating on him
I'm not
I almost can't stand his insecurity
And i used to be the same way, I guess
I know that it is hard for him now that I can make my own money and do what I need to do for myself
Yeah, I changed when he left for Iraq. I had to.
FUCKIN' IRAQ
no, I don't believe that it's wrong, and that it's another vietnam but jesus christ taking a man away from his family for 7 months
sheesh
|
|
|
[17 Jan 2006|09:57am] |
The only good thing in my life
is this beautiful baby boy
who is learning how to get attention by screaming
who will only eat his peas if they are "flown" into his mouth
and who wants nothing more than to tear out every hair on my head
and it is perfect
|
|
|
[13 Jan 2006|09:24am] |
I really can't even tell you what I want to tell you because I'm being monitered
I say it like it is.
Irene Hendron is living out her (our) dream in San Fransisco
Sarah Mispagel is working a fun job and seems to have a nice boyfriend
I watch Laguna Beach and feel this ultimate pang of home sickness and regret
i guess you could piece it together.
|
|
| ihatedan |
[11 Jan 2006|02:05pm] |
|
he is evil and shady
|
|
|
[11 Jan 2006|01:02pm] |
maybe....
OH GOD CAN'T I CONTROL MYSELF!
|
|
|
[10 Jan 2006|04:03pm] |
|
maybe you should just eat dick
|
|
| lame stuff |
[10 Jan 2006|03:51pm] |
I really have to believe that life is a test
and right now I'm at a C-
What is that relgion where life=hell
and "real, fun life" is after you die?
NO I don't want to die! But I wouldn't mind things looking up a bit.
|
|
|
[09 Jan 2006|02:13pm] |
I think I'd make a fantastic lesbian
or prostitute....?
|
|
|
[09 Jan 2006|02:09pm] |
|
Christopher had to get his baby shots today....i cried.
|
|
| fat bitch |
[06 Dec 2005|01:15pm] |
not back to my pre baby skinnines
(not that i was a rail or anything)
but i'm getting there!
or at least dressing like i have
which is probably not any better
|
|
|
[06 Dec 2005|01:09pm] |
GOODBYE CAMP FUCKING LEJUNE
AND MOSTLY JACK-ASS-VILLE NC
hello PA
I'm thinking about joining the mc but i'm not one for skankiness
at least not a camouflage skank
teehee
i set womans lib back like a mutha fucka
|
|
|
[05 Oct 2005|01:33pm] |
baby at 4 months (almost)
equals adorable
he smiles all the time!
|
|
|
[12 Jul 2005|06:32am] |
wow
i never realized, and I'm so very tired
CSSD 29 IS COMING HOME IN AUGUST!
Danny gets to meet his son!!!!
|
|
|
[03 Jul 2005|10:49am] |
|
there is no better feeling than having your baby reaching for you
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
alley_carter's journal